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Banyak hal yang terlintas di kepala gue semenjak saat itu. Saat dimana gue (awalnya) tidak bisa menerima semua itu terjadi dalam hidup gue. Berkali-kali gue coba untuk melupakan dan menerima semua itu dengan ikhlas. Tapi ternyata tidak mudah. Tidak secepat itu gue bisa ikhlas. Berkali-kali juga gue bilang ke diri gue kalau gue ga kuat dan seringkali terlintas di pikiran gue untuk berhenti. Berhenti untuk memikirkan semua yang terjadi dan berhenti....hidup? Seiring berjalan nya waktu, gue mulai bisa menerima. Walau belum sepenuhnya ikhlas. Terkadang masih terlintas pertanyaan 'Kenapa harus gue?' Tetapi setidaknya ini sudah jauh lebih baik. Mimpi buruk yang selalu datang ketika gue tidur lebih awal, sudah mulai tidak pernah terjadi lagi. Rasa takut akan bertemu dan berbicara dengan beberapa orang, kini sudah mulai hilang. Gue (mungkin) sudah bisa lebih mencintai diri gue sendiri. Gue juga sudah memberanikan diri untuk menceritakan apa yang terjadi ...

A little throwback won't hurt, right? That photo was taken 3 days ago in Ella's house. At that time, the three of us (exclude Janet, she's far away from home) supposed to meet in PS but turned out to meet in Ella's. It was a farewell meeting before Ella left to Sydney. Yeah, Rian and me couldn't take Ella to the airport because of some things:( 3 days ago was a time that we could catch up a lot of things. We talked so much, reminiscing so many things like the old times. We used to have a lot of quality time together in the college time, but now...too difficult to have a good time together. We got each other's story and we talked about everything. We got to video call Janet too!! The best part from this little reunion is, they don't change. They are still the people that I love as my best friends.  I couldn't believe that I got friends who turned to be my family. I just knew that they are a part of my life when I got through a lot of things in th...

Good things happen only when I think positively. And so, I thought I'll be happy all the time. -Sandara Park.

Today is the first day of 2019. So far, I am still doing good. Better than the previous days. Better than before. I really want to have a better version of myself in 2019. Thank you 2018, Hello 2019. (Maybe a little throwback for 2018 won't hurt....let's see)

December 31, 2018 This is the last day in 2018. How are you, Jel? Are you still in pain? Or, are you just in denial for getting better? Time surely flies so fast. As much as you want to stop it, It won't stop. You couldn't stop the time, but you could stop being in pain. Accept your reality, so you could do better. Only you could do it better. Make a move! Promise to yourself, you want to be better. Promise to yourself, you want to have a brand new Anjel. Don't give up. Just start going and keep moving. Don't ever stop. Believe in yourself, you could have a happily ever after. So, 2019 would be a better year, right? Yes of course. Ohh don't forget this one too, You did well today.

Just before the night comes.

in case no one told you today. You did well.